Dealing with fear of death anxiety is hard.

Do you ever get a horrible, bottomless pit in your stomach when you think about death? This is Thanatophobia — also known as anxiety over death. Prefacing, if you ever feel suicidal, get professional help immediately.

Strange how my perspective has changed so drastically from the age of 20 to now, at 30.

When I was young, I felt indestructible, although a bit chaotic. I didn’t know if I’d make it into old age, and I hadn’t yet built all the relationships I now hold so near and dear. Now, when I think of death, whether it’s me dying or someone I love — the consequence feels much more drastic.

There’s an irreversible, ending result to death — and it’s hard dealing with fear of death anxiety.

The thought of dying myself leaves me feeling sad, not for myself, but for those that would suffer without my existence. I would be a bit gloomy over time lost or achievements not met, but what truly upsets me is the thought of someone like my husband or mother — and the horror they would feel upon my death.

As someone who hasn’t lost many people, even at the age of 30, others dying in my life terrifies me. I know it’s unavoidable and inevitable, but it still leaves me gasping for breath when I think about it too much. What I’ve come to realize is that as I build deeper connections with others, their deaths will feel like an even more significant loss, the ultimate catch 22 to giving others your whole soul. The sting of loss is great, especially when you lose someone who means so much.

Sometimes I feel like I’m always dealing with fear of death anxiety.

How do I get over the fear of death with anxiety?

I don’t believe in a higher power or practice religion in my life, so my suggestions for dealing with death anxiety are sourced from the tangible realm — although I recommend seeking spiritual sources of support that work for you too.

  • Get Treated — Although you can read articles like this until you’re blue in the face, there’s no replacement for the education, knowledge and concrete guidance a doctor or therapist can give to help you deal with your fear and anxiety over death. Talk with your doctor to address the underlying reasons you may be thinking negatively.
  • It’s Just a Thought — Any time I’m hit with a wave of fear over death or dying, I remember that it’s just that — a thought. Although we all die, thoughts of yourself or others passing only exist in your mind until it happens in reality, so it’s best to focus your energy on spending quality time with the ones you love while you have it.
  • Focus On What You’ve Accomplished — Instead of thinking of the potential for loss in life, I’m doing my best to rewire my mind to instead think of all that’s been done. Although I may get stuck in a negative cycle of thought and think of what I might miss out on in life, I instead think of all I’ve accomplished during my years on earth, whether big or small. Celebrating your wins is essential to feeling satisfied in life, and not everyone has the opportunity to live for even one day. Each day is truly a gift.
  • Take Control — Although it’s crucial to distance yourself from obsessive thinking over death, taking control of your death can relieve you of fear. You can draft a memorial service, get a will put in place, and designate a power of attorney — all ways to put your final wishes to paper, and possibly relieve yourself of feeling powerless over your last days.
  • Talk To Others — Talking to others about how they feel about death is a therapeutic way to gain perspective and release feelings of being alone in your thoughts or what you have to face each day. You may find you have a friend or family member who has dealt with similar anxieties and may have additional advice to lend.
  • Meditate or Pray — Taking a moment to center your thoughts through meditation or prayer is a positive way to keep your mentality from getting too dark or depressive. If we let it, negative thinking can turn into a monster, so re-routing to positivity is essential to modifying how we think long-term.

Know that you are not alone.

All of us have a fear of death. It’s natural. 

At times the mind will race, your blood pressure will rise, and anxiety-driven thoughts of death will overwhelm the entire mind and soul. It hurts, both mentally and physically. Acknowledge the shift, and start fighting back. With a little time and practice, you can push back the anxiety and instead focus on life.

As always, my recommendations cannot be taken as medical advice, and I urge you to seek the treatment of a medical professional to diagnose and treat any underlying psychological issues if needed.

What are ways you deal with fear of death of anxiety?