Wondering how to deal with anger?
I’ve been angry for many years.
I’m being dramatic, but I’ve spent more time angry in adulthood than happy, content, and smiling. I have no patience for myself or others, and it can be a problem.
I watched TV a few days ago and listened to an actor’s comments on the scrunch line between their eyes. I have the same scrunch line, but it wasn’t once there. Years and years of remedying problems, hating myself, not enjoying how life is going. It’s taken a toll.
Holding on to anger ruins your body and soul. Anger produces and induces stress, the silent killer.
Eventually, enough becomes enough.
I no longer wanted to be weighted by my fury. I didn’t want to be bound by my contempt. To do something about the issue, the first step was to begin a conversation with behavioral therapists because anger is indeed a behavioral response.
I no longer wanted to be mad at myself. At my husband. At acquaintances. At society. At the world.
But before you read any further: I am not a doctor, so do NOT take my thoughts as medical advice. This is only my own experience and what has worked for me. Please consult a medical professional or your doctor for recommended instructions on how to deal with anger.
Table of Contents
Stop. Take a breath.
It’s the first, most fundamental tool we have against anger.
Just stop.
Sounds simple! It’s not.
After getting worked up into a ball of intense anger, isn’t it fascinating how nothing ever gets resolved when you’re in that state? Emotions and blood pressure intensify. Horrible thoughts rush to the service. All getting to the point of boiling over, with the urge to run away.
It’s not good.
Usually, when facing a confrontation, I would respond with a combative remark. Now, I’m beginning to recognize moments where I can decide to stop and take a moment to assess.
Fire begets fire. Don’t add more fuel.
If I’m angry at a person, I now choose to sit down and observe a few minutes of silence. If I’m mad at a certain situation, I move to a different room and think about something else. There are more ways than first realized that can be used as methods how to deal with anger.
Stopping when angry is helping me to rewire my brain and train to respond with level-headed communication instead of jumping to the point of disaster.
Yelling doesn’t work.
Yelling seems to feel good when you’re in the moment, but it’s not a long-term solution.
Not only does yelling destroy relationships, but it also leaves you feeling empty, soul crushed, and physically exhausted. There’s a recovery period after a time of yelling. Again, it’s not good for your body.
Yelling is only a “shut down” solution and doesn’t add anything constructive to a situation. Eventually, yelling always tends to lead to an even more disastrous situation.
Instead of yelling, ask questions. Yelling is accusatory and doesn’t get to the root of issues.
If you can’t stop yelling, walk away until you can. Relax your face. Take a deep breath. Let the tension in your shoulders ebb away.
Not everything goes your way.
This one hurts.
Life isn’t fair, and you don’t get everything you want.
I was born and raised in a world, where, if we showed a bit of enthusiasm, we were supported 150% by parents and family, so it felt the world was my oyster. I could have absolutely anything I put my mind to, and possibly even, with little effort. I wouldn’t have my childhood any other way, and I appreciate my parents and family raising me with this incredible support. It brings so much confidence into a child’s psyche! There is a caveat, however.
Now, after living a decade in the real world, I see that often, dreams are crushed, people don’t always make it, and life can’t be planned perfectly. I haven’t accomplished or experienced even a smidge of what I wanted to at this point in life, but that’s what I’m learning to live with. This is where a lot of my anger was rooted.
Reminding myself that I’m not the center of the universe helps to cool the engines.
Aging has a funny way of humbling even the most boisterous. Fate, a touchy mistress. Knowing that life is cyclical and connected, it’s best to approach relationships with others with understanding, grace, and patience. Especially forgiveness.
Burning bridges only leaves you with one less path to take.
I’m learning how to deal with anger.
Even the thought of anger makes me angry. I hate how much I hate.
I know I won’t change overnight, but I can keep working hard to rid anger in my life. It’s a bit-by-bit process. When I choose to relax consciously and approach a situation calmly, I internally thank myself for the good behavior.
Ultimately, cohabitating with personal anger is a difficult task, but it’s worth the gentle fight. Anger has the power to consume entirely, and you must cut back the weeds, again and again, and never give up.
What is the quickest way to relieve anger?
The fastest way to relieve anger is to stop, breathe, and relax.
Similar to “stop, drop and roll,” when you find your most angry, if you take a moment to pause and reflect, you can often put out the fire of fury before it grows and escalates.
Here are a few more additional ideas to quickly relieve anger:
- Go on a walk or run
- Write your angry words down and then throw them away
- Make a loving meal for yourself
- Think about the reasons why you love the person or thing you’re angry with
- Watch a movie
Help the wounded pieces of your soul move forward.
Why do I get angry so easily?
Not every angry episode is caused by a situational moment. Anger often stems from an underlying issue, negative thought, or could even come from an undiagnosed mental illness or mental disorder.
Talk to your doctor to discuss reasons why you may be getting angry so quickly. The matter can be complicated, and additional recommendations to see therapists and psychologists can bring additional support. Your personal development and mental health are essential, so don’t delay talking to a medical professional.
